There's an article making the rounds on social media recently citing a 2016 UK poll by Collect Plus Parcel Delivery Service. Their 2000 member survey suggests that people over the age of 53 should stop wearing jeans.
Thank God for these arbiters of fashion sense, without them older people might be running amok in all manner of inappropriate clothing. What could be more offensive than a human being over 53 wearing jeans?
I can't think of a single thing.
It's so complicated putting a garment on one leg at a time. Using a zipper or some buttons or snaps is such a challenge. There are so many opportunities for frustration or worse, abject failure. Why bother when you can give up and wear stretchy pants 24/7? Better yet, screw pants, just wear your Snuggie and a shit eating grin.
Carry around a martini for that certain touch of "I don't give a flying fuck what you think."
Don't stop there, take it to the next level. Defy all convention and run around naked! Sure, you may get stuck to pleather seats, stung by an errant bee, sunburned in places that have yet to see the sun, or you could freeze off your nibbly bits, but you're old and getting dressed is exhausting.
If anyone questions your newly embraced love of nudity, explain that an insightful study revealed that you were too old to wear jeans and it all went to hell in a hand basket from there.
Madge (Aging disgracefully in denim.)