Fall Reflections

Ah, fall, the time of turning inward, shedding illusions, reflecting on the deeper meanings, and releasing the old, dead, dried up shit we've been hanging onto for far too long. Sure, it was good once, fresh and verdant, ripe with expectation and promise, it started as a tiny bud, then stretched towards the sun unfurling into a thing of beauty. Eventually it seasoned into a dazzling array of crimson, chartreuse, ochre, and flaming orange. But now it's dead, brown, and falling slowly to the earth to disintegrate.

Eventually everything returns to the great cosmic dustbin. There's something comforting in the knowledge that the bits of swirling matter that make us...us...will never die. They'll be reborn into an infinite array of new and wondrous creations. We are made of stardust, after all.

I've been observing more than participating as of late. Sometimes it's good to hang back and get a little perspective on things. I'm seeing a lot of chaos and turmoil on a large and small scale. Old systems are breaking down. Old friends are finding themselves facing big, life changing decisions. Emotions and dysfunctions are coming to the surface in very intense and demanding ways. It's a good time to let go of the things that are holding us back to make way for the things that will propel us forward.

First, we have to be willing to let go. Letting go is never easy. Leaping into the great abyss is a little bit terrifying, isn't it? The comfort of the uncomfortable is simultaneously seductive and suffocating.

What will happen if...

...we let go?
...we walk away?
...we make a new choice?
...we put ourselves first?

This is particularly difficult for women, because we're programmed to take care of other people and to put our needs and our happiness to the side in the service of this mythology. This can lead other people to take advantage of us, and if we're not careful we can find ourselves enabling their toxic behavior.

It's good to turn inward, shed illusions, reflect on deeper meanings, and release the old, dead, dried up shit we've been hanging onto for far too long. Winter is coming, it's time for self care.

Just some fall reflections from an introvert disguised as an extrovert observing from the wings. You are worthy, of love, light, and happiness. It starts with letting go of anything that no longer serves your joy.
"Nature's first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leafs a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief. So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay." Alfred R. Ferguson 



  1. After a very trying day yesterday, during which I beat myself up repeatedly, your post was just what I needed. I'm a little black and blue today, but all is well. It's another day to forge on. I need to release that old dead stuff as I head into the holiday season, which has been stressful since my elderly mom moved nearby. Deep breaths. Walks in the woods. Pet the puppy.

    1. I'm so sorry, Jean. But happy to hear you're marching bravely forward. Sometimes that's the best we can do. Sending virtual hugs!


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