Isn't She Brave?

This: "Why can't she just age gracefully?"


This: "Why doesn't she dye her hair? She looks so old."


This: "Is she really wearing that? In public?"


This: "Isn't she brave for not wearing make up and letting her hair go grey?"

Ah, the rule makers, always ready to tell the rest of us how to live.

Honestly, I don't think that not wearing makeup makes you brave. I think it makes you someone who isn't interested in wearing makeup. That's a choice, and if it's in response to some external pressure to stay young forever, it's a stance. Good for you! Also, good for the gal that is interested in wearing makeup! Good for the grey haired goddesses and good for the candy colored haired unicorns! Good for all of kick ass ladies in between!

Does she or doesn't she?

Why do we care?

It's all part of the same old shaming, blaming, bullshit attitudes women keep accepting and shoving on one another. Why can't we give each other a little breathing room? Why must we pass an endless stream of judgments? Wouldn't it be amazing if we just let people do what makes them happy and carried on with our own lives?

Do you know what makes you brave? Surviving cancer makes you brave. Getting up every day and lacing up your steel toed boots and marching bravely forward even when you feel like curling up and crying makes you brave. Finding the fortitude to carry on after losing a child or a life partner makes you brave. Fighting for your right to live without fear or oppression or violence makes you brave.

Wearing makeup or not wearing makeup, dying your hair or not dying your hair, getting Botox or "aging gracefully", whatever the hell that means, are just choices. Personally, and my husband could give a fart in a windstorm either way, I like wearing make up, dying my hair, and getting Botox on occasion. I plan on continuing to do that for myself and no one else for the remainder of my life. I make no excuses or apologies for "aging disgracefully", whatever the hell that means. I love seeing women who do what makes them happy and defy the naysayers and the rule makers. I don't know if it makes them brave, but it makes them real. That's beautiful, and it has nothing to do with how they look and everything to do with how they feel.

Women should do or not do precisely what makes them happy. Period. You do you, sister. I celebrate you, beautiful, fabulous, wonderful you however you choose to dish it up and serve it. After all, the essence of what makes us who we are is far more than skin deep.


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