"Be aware of the ephemeral nature of material things. Lose your attachment to them." Shui-ch'ing Tzu
I'm at a crossroads. It's not a new crossroads, in fact it's the same crossroads at which I keep arriving regardless of what direction I choose. I have tried going forward, backwards, diagonally, and even just sitting quietly in the center. I am sure from the outside looking in it is confusing. It is confusing from the inside looking out.
“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell
In an effort to lighten the load and prepare for a new pathway, I spent the weekend conducting a digital detox. I let go of thousands of files, old things that no longer served my happiness. I took down another website. I unsubscribed, disconnected, deleted, and exhaled. I need to release more of this virtual stuff. There is a considerable amount, but it's hard to know what's worth tossing and what's worth keeping. I need some life changing digital magic or a virtual high colonic. I thought if I let more of it go, maybe there would be more clarity. You know, the good stuff would pop up and say, "Howdy, Madge, pick me!"
Shockingly, it has not popped up yet. Damn it, good stuff, help me out here.
Stop staring at me like that. It's creepy.
This indecision's killing me.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.” Lao Tsu
The truth is, my greatest fear is that there isn't much good stuff in this massive amount of stuff I have created. I can't believe how much content I have amassed, and how much digital detritus is scattered in my wake. I am prolific, if not prosperous.
I am feeling called to let go of as much stuff as possible in the physical, spiritual, and digital sense. It's the actual letting go part that is exhausting. Deleting emails, files, websites, contracts, concepts, folders, organizing what remains so it's less scattered and more focused, it all takes time. Knowing what to keep, and what to release is challenging. Even digital detritus weighs you down. I want to feel lighter.
"Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over." Guy Finley
I also want to feel like what I'm putting out into the world is meaningful, powerful, resonant.
“Dare to live by letting go.” Tom Althouse
I'm at the crossroads, again, and this time I am trying to prepare for a more productive journey. I am packing lighter. I am seeking a new compass. I want to be sure that I don't end up at this crossroads again, because it's time for new horizons. The Lady Party is part of that new journey, but I can't start until I let go of the old baggage.