Dear George, It's Madge


 
Dear Mr. Soros,

It's Madge! May I call you George? I figured it was okay since I just found out that I'm on your payroll. Please make my checks out to Margot Potter, Madge is my nickname. Thank you so much for the job!

Cheers,
Madge

Dear George

I wanted to keep you updated on my activities. I've been so busy protesting that I've developed a nasty case of the shingles.

Speaking of the shingles, do you include health insurance coverage in your paid protestor employment plan? How about Worker's Compensation. Where do I sign up for that?

If you could send that first check soon, I'd really appreciate it. These anti-viral medications aren't cheap.

Cheers,
Madge

Dear George,

How are you? I attached some pics from the March on Washington, for proof of attendance. Thanks so much for the adorable pink hats. Those 'knitters' sure had everyone fooled, eh?

I also attached my travel receipts. I have it billed two ways, since I took a bus. Is it 53.5 cents a mile or the cost of the bus ticket? Please advise.

I'm really looking forward to working together!

Cheers,
Madge

Dear George,

About that check, I wasn't sure if you had the correct address? Should I call your office?

I'm starting to worry it got lost in the mail.

Cheers,
Madge

Dear George

I feel like we're developing a real kinship here. You're such a good listener!

I'm gearing up for the March for Science in April and I was wondering if you had a timeline on the brain hats. Can I request a specific color? Are there any messages you feel best represent the spirit of the march? Since Global Warming is just a scam you created with Al Gore, I figured you might have some great protest sign ideas.

Talk soon,
Madge 

Dear George,

I'm not sure my emails are reaching you. Please check your spam folder.

Cheers,
Madge

Dear George,

I realize that you are a busy man. However, participating in The Resistance takes a lot of effort. A little acknowledgment of my contributions would be appreciated.

Impatiently,
Madge

Dear George,

So this is how it is, huh? No checks, no emails, no phone calls... Is this how you treat all of your paid protestors?

I guess you really do have an exaggerated view of your own self-importance. For the record, I've met the Messiah, and you sir, are no Messiah.

Well, I haven't met the Messiah, but I do follow him on Twitter.

I have half a mind to stop protesting if this continues.

Whatever,
Madge

Dear George,

Please forgive me for my last email, shingles are a bitch. I'm half out of my mind, and yet I'm still conscious enough to be outraged. Maybe outrage isn't the right word.

Bereft, bothered, and bewildered, am I.

(Thought you enjoy like a musical break.)

Anywho, I'm going to have to file for unemployment since it's obvious you're not going to pay me. I hope you understand. I guess those alternative right generated alternative facts were lies. You see what I did there, linguistically speaking? Maybe #alternativefacts have a dual meaning. Amirite?

I guess I'll just have to keep fighting the kleptocracy without your financial support.

Cheers,
Madge










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